Sunday, March 22, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
A mouse tale
(This story is from several years ago...but one that bears retelling.)
So yesterday I bring the children home for the evening...as kids ALWAYS are, they were ready for a snack just before dinner. A simple traditional American open-faced peanut butter sandwich should do the trick me-thinks. But alas, the bread bag revealed a symmetrical 3/4" hole and 15% reduction in size. Apparently my nemesis from a few weeks ago (he got stuck in the glue trap and I had to back over him with the van) was part of a family...
A family of deaf mice apparently. In an effort to appease my more humane friends (you know who you are) I purchased a set of three of the Sonic Pest Controllers. Enough for 2100 square feet. The first one was placed in the kitchen, within 6 inches of the loaf of bread. I think the appropriate phrase is 'completely ineffective'. Maybe I got the wrong brand.
No more glue traps (last week, in a moment of discovery, my 4 year old Hannah got stuck in the second one). I still have the two traditional snap traps that provide the satisfaction my conscience seems to favor. As soon as dinner was done and the kitchen cleaned (I hate having to clean it before and after dinner - once per meal suits me just fine) I loaded both traps carefully with peanut butter and placed them strategically on the kitchen counter. The counter is where we always encounter them. Yucky.
Sent the kids off with their mom, and sat down to enjoy a movie. My Columbia House DVDs arrived earlier in the week, and I was ready to watch Tombstone (prophetic?). About midway into the movie, there was a snapping sound from the kitchen.
Those of you who know me, know I hate to interrupt a good movie. Tombstone is a good movie (thanks Kevin!). Plus, I didn't know how long any twitching or whatever would go on, so I lost myself again in the world of Wyatt Earp. At the conclusion of the movie, I knew I had to act - some sense of hygiene would not allow me the let things sit until morning. Slowly, I entered the kitchen. I peeked around the corner to find one trap in the open unmolested. As I turned on the light to see the hidden one, I discovered success! - along with a grieving family member who then darted back behind the stove. I always thought those little holes in the electric stove drip pans were to allow excess spillage a place to go. Apparently mice think otherwise.
Well you will all be pleased to know that when I can clearly identify a snapped neck, I need neither tongs nor three blue Wal-Mart bags. One bag and a good washing with antibacterial soap will do.
But still there was another! I moved the trap in to open to the more concealed location (apparently mice prefer eating in an intimate setting) and went to bed.
As I came downstairs this morning, I heard a sort of rattling sound. Peeking around the corner into the kitchen (in case there was a gang of them waiting to attack) I saw my latest adversary sitting on his haunches under the banana rack. In a strong clear voice, I announced my presence and requested his departure. He refused. It was then that I realized the rattling was the trap that was attached to the base of his tail. Apparently he had not been mourning the loss of his family member, but trying to figure out how that contraption worked - mice are brutal and heartless.
A few myths destroyed: 1) They do not scream, but there was a little squeaking that met my expectations of a mouse. 2) When caught in a trap, they do not chew off whatever part is attached to escape. Of course, in this case, he was trapped so close to the base of his tail he would have had to chew the end beyond the trap off, and that would have just pissed him off and made a mess to boot.
So now what to do? I got the tongs out - which he promptly viciously attacked - so I was justified in my caution. Better the tongs than my fingers! Still could not bring myself to destroy him under foot. One friend (you know who you are) suggested a tree, a nail, a BB gun, and 10 paces. A few problems with that: First, no BB gun. Second, the only tree of choice is in the little front yard of my townhouse. And my next-door neighbor does daycare. As this message reveals, I'm a sensitive guy, so I concluded it would be best to avoid the children starting their day with the image of their neighbor shooting a mouse in a trap nailed to a tree.
I resorted to another recommendation (you know who YOU are...) - drowning. It saves a mess and avoids validating the screaming myth. Bad news though - traps float and mice swim. I tried placing a heavier bowl over him, but he could wiggle past it, then the bowl flipped over, giving him the reprieve of an air pocket, which probably would have lasted all day. So I was still reduced to some level of brutality by dunking him down under and having to see him struggle.
How come they have to die with their cute little eyes open? His view of me was certainly already distorted by knowing me just through the death of two of his family members...now he had the additional distortion of looking up through the water. I did turn on the hot and cold, making is close to body temperature. Do you think that comforted him at all?
Life is full of tough choices.
So yesterday I bring the children home for the evening...as kids ALWAYS are, they were ready for a snack just before dinner. A simple traditional American open-faced peanut butter sandwich should do the trick me-thinks. But alas, the bread bag revealed a symmetrical 3/4" hole and 15% reduction in size. Apparently my nemesis from a few weeks ago (he got stuck in the glue trap and I had to back over him with the van) was part of a family...
A family of deaf mice apparently. In an effort to appease my more humane friends (you know who you are) I purchased a set of three of the Sonic Pest Controllers. Enough for 2100 square feet. The first one was placed in the kitchen, within 6 inches of the loaf of bread. I think the appropriate phrase is 'completely ineffective'. Maybe I got the wrong brand.
No more glue traps (last week, in a moment of discovery, my 4 year old Hannah got stuck in the second one). I still have the two traditional snap traps that provide the satisfaction my conscience seems to favor. As soon as dinner was done and the kitchen cleaned (I hate having to clean it before and after dinner - once per meal suits me just fine) I loaded both traps carefully with peanut butter and placed them strategically on the kitchen counter. The counter is where we always encounter them. Yucky.
Sent the kids off with their mom, and sat down to enjoy a movie. My Columbia House DVDs arrived earlier in the week, and I was ready to watch Tombstone (prophetic?). About midway into the movie, there was a snapping sound from the kitchen.
Those of you who know me, know I hate to interrupt a good movie. Tombstone is a good movie (thanks Kevin!). Plus, I didn't know how long any twitching or whatever would go on, so I lost myself again in the world of Wyatt Earp. At the conclusion of the movie, I knew I had to act - some sense of hygiene would not allow me the let things sit until morning. Slowly, I entered the kitchen. I peeked around the corner to find one trap in the open unmolested. As I turned on the light to see the hidden one, I discovered success! - along with a grieving family member who then darted back behind the stove. I always thought those little holes in the electric stove drip pans were to allow excess spillage a place to go. Apparently mice think otherwise.
Well you will all be pleased to know that when I can clearly identify a snapped neck, I need neither tongs nor three blue Wal-Mart bags. One bag and a good washing with antibacterial soap will do.
But still there was another! I moved the trap in to open to the more concealed location (apparently mice prefer eating in an intimate setting) and went to bed.
As I came downstairs this morning, I heard a sort of rattling sound. Peeking around the corner into the kitchen (in case there was a gang of them waiting to attack) I saw my latest adversary sitting on his haunches under the banana rack. In a strong clear voice, I announced my presence and requested his departure. He refused. It was then that I realized the rattling was the trap that was attached to the base of his tail. Apparently he had not been mourning the loss of his family member, but trying to figure out how that contraption worked - mice are brutal and heartless.
A few myths destroyed: 1) They do not scream, but there was a little squeaking that met my expectations of a mouse. 2) When caught in a trap, they do not chew off whatever part is attached to escape. Of course, in this case, he was trapped so close to the base of his tail he would have had to chew the end beyond the trap off, and that would have just pissed him off and made a mess to boot.
So now what to do? I got the tongs out - which he promptly viciously attacked - so I was justified in my caution. Better the tongs than my fingers! Still could not bring myself to destroy him under foot. One friend (you know who you are) suggested a tree, a nail, a BB gun, and 10 paces. A few problems with that: First, no BB gun. Second, the only tree of choice is in the little front yard of my townhouse. And my next-door neighbor does daycare. As this message reveals, I'm a sensitive guy, so I concluded it would be best to avoid the children starting their day with the image of their neighbor shooting a mouse in a trap nailed to a tree.
I resorted to another recommendation (you know who YOU are...) - drowning. It saves a mess and avoids validating the screaming myth. Bad news though - traps float and mice swim. I tried placing a heavier bowl over him, but he could wiggle past it, then the bowl flipped over, giving him the reprieve of an air pocket, which probably would have lasted all day. So I was still reduced to some level of brutality by dunking him down under and having to see him struggle.
How come they have to die with their cute little eyes open? His view of me was certainly already distorted by knowing me just through the death of two of his family members...now he had the additional distortion of looking up through the water. I did turn on the hot and cold, making is close to body temperature. Do you think that comforted him at all?
Life is full of tough choices.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Cribbage Rhymes
My family is a cribbage family...if you haven't learned it, I encourage it! It's a fun game that can be played nearly anytime and any place...and it is what I'll call a 'talking' game, meaning you can chat and still play the game (vs. spending all your energy focusing on strategy...no silence necessary!)
I learned it from my Grandfather, Arthur Robinson, on a visit to England with my cousin in 1978.
Part of the game he taught was rhymes for many of the counts and plays, and I have tried in vane to find them on the internet. So here for the first time ever on the internet: Granddad's cribbage rhymes and scores...(I'm confident variations are possible - responses and alternatives invited and encouraged!)
First, counting approaching 31:
21, ten's a gun.
22, 9's a shoe.
23, 8's a spree.
24, 7's a score.
25, 6's a jive.
26, 5's a fix.
27, 4's in heaven.
28, 3's the gate.
29, 2's a chime.
30, ace is sturdy.
Then there is a few for scoring:
Morgan's Orchard (a couple of pairs).
15 two, 15 four, and there ain't no more.
A pair (or 15) for two, and there ain't no moo. (ok, I made that one up myself - but I do use it!)
See one, play one! (whenever you make a pair...)
I think that's the bulk of them.
I feel much better finally getting these out!
I learned it from my Grandfather, Arthur Robinson, on a visit to England with my cousin in 1978.
Part of the game he taught was rhymes for many of the counts and plays, and I have tried in vane to find them on the internet. So here for the first time ever on the internet: Granddad's cribbage rhymes and scores...(I'm confident variations are possible - responses and alternatives invited and encouraged!)First, counting approaching 31:
21, ten's a gun.
22, 9's a shoe.
23, 8's a spree.
24, 7's a score.
25, 6's a jive.
26, 5's a fix.
27, 4's in heaven.
28, 3's the gate.
29, 2's a chime.
30, ace is sturdy.
Then there is a few for scoring:
Morgan's Orchard (a couple of pairs).
15 two, 15 four, and there ain't no more.
A pair (or 15) for two, and there ain't no moo. (ok, I made that one up myself - but I do use it!)
See one, play one! (whenever you make a pair...)
I think that's the bulk of them.
I feel much better finally getting these out!
Friday, March 6, 2009
Anti's and Pros
Exactly when did we become so 'anti' instead of 'pro' in our society? It's like we're suffering a collective self-esteem problem.
I'm 45. When I was growing up, it was not at all uncommon to have a t-shirt or bumper sticker that stated your views - they were always 'pro' views though. "Ford is #1" or "I love the Steelers!" or the like.
At some point, we transitioned into quasi-defeatist..."Sh*t Happens"..."Don't Blame me, I voted for Bush" (actually I blame those who DID vote for Bush - uh-oh - went political there for a moment!)
But then we turned a corner - now it's all about who sucks the most. We have our mischievious little Calvin peeing on everything. (Do we really want everybodt urinating on the things they don't favor?) It's not enough that "Ford is #1" - now "Chevy Sucks!" or we're giving the finger to the Cowboys...
Why is this...? Do we really have so little external strife that we have to turn our hate inward? Am I the only one who thinks this entire attitude belittles us as a Nation? It used to be enough that we would help those in need - that's what made us a stand-out as a nation. Now we have to be in everybody's face about it - putting everyone around us - and each other down?
I keep hearing everyone talk about the housing crisis and the bailout. The most common statement is something like "I work hard and pay my bills, why should someone else get help when I manage things on my own?"
Has America become the nation of "I got mine - go get yours yourself!"?
Don't get me wrong - we should not go around buying houses for those less fortunate than ourselves. (The housing aid does not. What we SHOULD do for folks less fortunate than ourselves is a whole other topic...) And I don't think people should be sponsered by the government to live beyond their means. But the impact on letting 9 million homes go to foreclosure would be FAR more devastating - and expensive - than helping those who are struggling as a consequence of circumstances beyond their control.
We need to reset. We need to correct the mistakes that led to this mess. And we need to take care of our own.
Let's start by being 'pro'. Not "I can afford my mortgage, you can't - so you suck", but "I'm fortunate enough to be solvent, how can I help you do the same?" We have had so much so good for so long, I truly believe many of us have forgotten how great we have it - and how much work it took to get us here.
This clip sums it up - Louis CK on Conan. (I confess I looked up more LCK and wasn't impressed - but I love his point here!)
I'm 45. When I was growing up, it was not at all uncommon to have a t-shirt or bumper sticker that stated your views - they were always 'pro' views though. "Ford is #1" or "I love the Steelers!" or the like.
At some point, we transitioned into quasi-defeatist..."Sh*t Happens"..."Don't Blame me, I voted for Bush" (actually I blame those who DID vote for Bush - uh-oh - went political there for a moment!)
But then we turned a corner - now it's all about who sucks the most. We have our mischievious little Calvin peeing on everything. (Do we really want everybodt urinating on the things they don't favor?) It's not enough that "Ford is #1" - now "Chevy Sucks!" or we're giving the finger to the Cowboys...
Why is this...? Do we really have so little external strife that we have to turn our hate inward? Am I the only one who thinks this entire attitude belittles us as a Nation? It used to be enough that we would help those in need - that's what made us a stand-out as a nation. Now we have to be in everybody's face about it - putting everyone around us - and each other down?
I keep hearing everyone talk about the housing crisis and the bailout. The most common statement is something like "I work hard and pay my bills, why should someone else get help when I manage things on my own?"
Has America become the nation of "I got mine - go get yours yourself!"?
Don't get me wrong - we should not go around buying houses for those less fortunate than ourselves. (The housing aid does not. What we SHOULD do for folks less fortunate than ourselves is a whole other topic...) And I don't think people should be sponsered by the government to live beyond their means. But the impact on letting 9 million homes go to foreclosure would be FAR more devastating - and expensive - than helping those who are struggling as a consequence of circumstances beyond their control.
We need to reset. We need to correct the mistakes that led to this mess. And we need to take care of our own.
Let's start by being 'pro'. Not "I can afford my mortgage, you can't - so you suck", but "I'm fortunate enough to be solvent, how can I help you do the same?" We have had so much so good for so long, I truly believe many of us have forgotten how great we have it - and how much work it took to get us here.
This clip sums it up - Louis CK on Conan. (I confess I looked up more LCK and wasn't impressed - but I love his point here!)
Thursday, March 5, 2009
First Time for a Late Bloomer
A favorite Seinfeld quote of mine: [Jerry] "Oh, I gotta get on that internet - I'm late on everything!"
So this is my attempt to join the blogging world. Sometimes I write. Sometimes I ramble. Sometimes I share my writings and rambles, and people say "that's so good - you should publish that!" So we'll see if I can. This will possibly spare some mass emailing too...
I have been published already you know! Look up the 'Stars and Stripes', middle east edition, Sept 30, 2008. I had a letter to the editor published! (about the Army and their written policy on logos on PT socks. No I am NOT in the Army!)
I definitely have something to say before my writing approaches eloquence - and although I may talk a lot, it's not always that I have something to say :)
I hope to say things here that may be of general interest (or fun) to anyone who reads this - regardless if they know me personally or not. So I'll try to refrain from this being a diary, or an 'all about me', apart from any personal relevance any particular ramble might encompass.
Also I can put pictures up here! I am an award winning photographer you know! Grand Champion of the 1997 Calvert County Fair! (See - there is a personal bit that is relevant to the story - I lived in Calvert County Maryland in 1997.)
So I should add an image now as part of my introduction...but what image to use...hmmmm
Ok! First, the disclaimer: I did not take this picture! I lifted it from a Google image search! It continues to fascinate me and amuse me! I can't begin to explain why...
Hopefully it displays my intent here - not to be taken to seriously, but intended to maybe initiate a conversation!
So that's it for my first posting...there is much much more circulating in this brain of mine - stand by!
So this is my attempt to join the blogging world. Sometimes I write. Sometimes I ramble. Sometimes I share my writings and rambles, and people say "that's so good - you should publish that!" So we'll see if I can. This will possibly spare some mass emailing too...
I have been published already you know! Look up the 'Stars and Stripes', middle east edition, Sept 30, 2008. I had a letter to the editor published! (about the Army and their written policy on logos on PT socks. No I am NOT in the Army!)
I definitely have something to say before my writing approaches eloquence - and although I may talk a lot, it's not always that I have something to say :)
I hope to say things here that may be of general interest (or fun) to anyone who reads this - regardless if they know me personally or not. So I'll try to refrain from this being a diary, or an 'all about me', apart from any personal relevance any particular ramble might encompass.
Also I can put pictures up here! I am an award winning photographer you know! Grand Champion of the 1997 Calvert County Fair! (See - there is a personal bit that is relevant to the story - I lived in Calvert County Maryland in 1997.)
So I should add an image now as part of my introduction...but what image to use...hmmmm
Ok! First, the disclaimer: I did not take this picture! I lifted it from a Google image search! It continues to fascinate me and amuse me! I can't begin to explain why...
Hopefully it displays my intent here - not to be taken to seriously, but intended to maybe initiate a conversation!
So that's it for my first posting...there is much much more circulating in this brain of mine - stand by!
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